So I am getting ready to perform my one woman show that I wrote “Little Bird in The Night” in approximately 56 hours! I am so excited to share my story with everyone who will be joining me Saturday night at 6pm at Theatre Row for this special one night only performance that is part of United Solo Theatre Festival – the largest solo theatre festival in the world!
A lot of friends have asked me, “are you nervous”? While the answer is “why yes”…, its “good” nervous. The kind that keeps me focused – head in the game.
I’ve already been through the drama of:
1. Allowing myself to create this piece
2. Actually letting someone else see it
3. Taking it seriously enough to give it time, effort, energy, attention
4. Letting it become a priority
5. Telling people about it, so they can come
Not to mention all the doubts like:
“Is this total shit?”
“Does this even make sense?”
“Will anybody get this?”
“Does anybody care?”
“Can I learn my lines?”
“What if it sucks?”
LOL! Its so funny to see all of these written down – kind of takes the power away. So I’ve been dancing with these fears for awhile and now I just feel like that pregnant woman (which I have been) who is about to give birth, her due date has come and gone and she Just Wants this Baby Out of Her Already!!
So now, even though the fears may still show up around me, I am SOO freaking excited to do this!!! And share it with some of my Awesome friends like Deedee Harrington, Eric Tomlinson, Shari Wakiyama, Steve Dollasea, Cheyenne Covington, Patti Shugart and my incredible fiancee Allen Joines – who are all flying up from Winston Salem, NC to join me in support and have fun!! How does it get any better than this? And I wonder now, what Else is Possible?
A Huge inspiration and support system throughout this process has been my director Linda Donnell and her husband Mark Donnell (who is also stage managing the show plus doing lights and sound!). They Really seem to understand what it takes to live a passionate and creative life.
Every day seems a new fresh opportunity for them to Play! And I don’t just mean Play as in their “serious theatre work”. I mean Play as in they have so much freaking fun its insane. These people are always laughing! There is more joking going on on both ends in this household than I have maybe every seen – ever.
I think fundamentally what they understand and what I am coming to grasp is the sheer importance of play and joy in our lives – Especially as a creative person! When you starve the soul, the first thing that goes is the fun.
So, while I am nervous, I am also having fun. Lots of it : ) I’m doing something I’ve always wanted to do – produce a freaking play that I get to be in New York City! And not just anywhere – we are in the heart of it – 42nd St Right Next to Broadway! ! I am so happy and lucky and The Fun and my passion for Playing is way stronger than any anxiety could every be!
My new questions right now are more like:
“How much fun can I have?”
“What would it take to feel so delicious in my body?”
“I wonder how Big my energy can be?”
“Wouldn’t it be amazing to be connecting with everyone in that theatre on a soul level?”
“How amazing is it that I get to tell My Story?”
“Wouldn’t it feel so good to be so present and available to my emotions?”
“How incredible are these characters?”
“How did I get so lucky to do this?”
Victory. : )